Use Intention Check to clarify the purpose of your own or another’s behavior. Use it when you aren’t expecting a positive outcome resulting from the current behavior. Intention Check assesses the integrity of your own and another’s intention in a given case.


  1. Ask “What is your/my intention with X?” where X equals some type of actual or pending behavior to the person whose intention you want to know.
  2. If it would be helpful, ask “What response or behavior did you want from whom as X?”


  • Be aware of your own intention before checking the intention of another.
  • Investigate sufficiently to uncover the intention of the person or his actions.
  • Make sure you have the intention to resolve any possible conflict peacefully before intention checking someone else. If you do not have a peaceful intention, Check Out.
  • Do not be defensive when someone asks you what your intention is. If you can’t do this, Check Out.